Poseidon (2006)

Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Cast: Josh Lucas as Dylan Johns, Kurt Russell as Robert Ramsey, Jacinda Barrett as Maggie James, Richard Dreyfuss as Richard Nelson, Emmy Rossum as Jennifer Ramsey, Mía Maestro as Elena Morales, Mike Vogel as Christian, Kevin Dillon as Lucky Larry, Freddy Rodríguez as Marco Valentin, Jimmy Bennett as Conor James, Stacy Ferguson as Gloria, Andre Braugher as Captain Bradford, Kirk B.R. Woller as Chief Officer Reynolds, Kelly McNair as Emily, Gabriel Jarret as 1st Officer Chapman

I attended an IMAX screening with a group of friends and family on
opening day. Some of us are fans of the original. At least one had seen
neither the original nor the Hallmark miniseries. One thing became
clear early on in this film: a sky-high budget isn't worth a bucket of
seawater if the characters aren't interesting or involving.

On New Year's Eve, the ocean liner, Poseidon, is capsized by an
enormous rogue wave that appears without warning. Seems all the
sophisticated equipment on the bridge doesn't include reliable radar
targeting; rather, the wall of water is detected Carnac-style by a
bridge officer, and then spotted by a depressed passenger inches away
from taking his life by jumping overboard (the audience laughed out
loud during the former instance). What follows is the life-and-death
struggle of a handful of wealthy Caucasian, er, I mean, assorted
passengers through the fiery, waterlogged bowels of the overturned
ship, as they attempt to reach and escape through one of the bow
thrusters. Who are these people? I couldn't tell you, because at least
one person in our group fell asleep during the film, and afterward, the
rest of us could barely remember any of the leads' names or
backstories. We learn nothing about the central characters by the end
of the film that we didn't already know or sense in the opening
introductions. Storytelling is dead in Hollywood.

The Poseidon Adventure, starring Gene Hackman, is still loved by many
decades after its release, because the creative forces behind that
project breathed life into the characters and crafted a solid film.
Wolfgang Petersen's reimaging, Poseidon, will be forgotten faster than
yesterday's breakfast buffet aboard the Pacific Princess, for exactly
the opposite reason. It's yet another exercise in CGI gimmickry, and a
hollow voyage to nowhere.